Random Tuesday Thoughts - For Appearance Sake

 Keely seems to be feeling shitty, but she never disappoints, be sure and hop on over to The Un Mom for some good Random.

I have sympathy pains this week for Julie at Momspective, her sweet child accidentally tried to wash her cell phone in the dog bowl (he was trying to help his mommy, honestly he was).  I can sympathize because last spring, I dropped my Blackberry in the toilet, and it was not pretty--neither the wet malfunctioning Blackberry nor my meltdown.   BTW, if you get a chance, catch her and the other Wii Mommies during their Broadcast on Fridays.  They share lots of good info and advice and not just about Wii Fit.

Once again, I have to thank Twenty Four At Heart for inspiration.  Her post "Cars Are Getting Smarter But I'm Not" triggered my idea for my random thoughts and I was having some serious brain blockage (probably because I'm distracted by setting up my team for the Fantasy Football matchups this week).  A shout out to the ladies in the League--Momspective, MadMom, Not Just 9 to 5, Team Nickleberry, I Complete Me, AlliC, Ms.Purr, The Bumbles, Tonoogle

(Annaliese and Sheree, my blog sleuthing did not find your blogs, please send me the links and I will update them here and use them in the future)

So, I'll get on with it already.  Twenty Four's experience getting her signal fixed caused her some annoyance over the blatant staring at her attractiveness.  I occasionally find myself experiencing that same kind of annoyance, which is surprising because it's only been a few years since I went from invisible to being noticed.

I mentioned before that I lost 147 lbs a few years ago.  I have a post in the works about that whole process and will include before and after pictures.  I hope to get it finalized and posted this week or next.

Since the weight loss, I've gone from being invisible (and often ignored) to being noticed--sometimes in extremely amusing ways.  I freely admit that most of the time I feel flattered; it's such a change from being ignored.  Like Twenty Four, I have benefitted from this new admiration I receive.  Interestingly, it sometimes comes in the form of free food (ironic and amusing because of the weight loss).  I've gotten a wink and a free BBQ rib; a smile and a free egg roll. I often get noticeably better service as well.

Once, as I was walking into a store, a man walking in the opposite direction began looking my way.  Unfortunately since he wasn't watching where he was going, he ran smack into a pole!  I walked away quickly in an attempt to hide my laughter, but I'm sure he saw me laughing.

Another time, I was sitting in my car at a gas station and glanced over at a man sitting in his truck at the next gas pump.  His head kept dropping and almost hitting his steering wheel.  All I could think was "WTF, is he having a seizure or stroke?"  When I got out of my car to pump gas, he got out of his truck and came over to tell me that he thought I was beautiful.  I was flattered but also a little creeped out.  I was even more creeped out when he followed me as I drove out of the gas station.  I started to be concerned then was relieved when I turned and he kept going straight. 

One of the oddest experiences I've had since my appearance changed occurred when I went to a dance club.  My husband and I enjoy dancing and try to go out at least once a month to dance clubs with our friends.  Neither of us is the jealous type and we have agreed that it's okay to dance with others, even strangers who ask nicely.  One night, I was asked to dance by a younger man and accompanied him to the dance floor.  I must mention here that I had on a skin tight dress and no bra which made me look completely flat-chested.  It was too tight to wear my chicken cutlets anything padded.  So, I had a certain "boy in a dress" look about me.  I do tend to wear my makeup like a drag queen a little more flamboyantly when I go out to clubs.  It's all part of my fun!

Yes, that's me following my hubby to the dance floor in my skin tight black dress

I walked onto the dance floor with the young man and we began dancing.  We were dancing along quite nicely and then he twirled me and I spun in and landed front to front smack up against him.  It was at that moment (because of my skin tight dress) that he realized I was indeed a girl because I did not have a penis and testicles wiggly parts below the waist.  He said, "you are not what I thought" and then he promptly turned and walked off the dance floor.  I stood looking at him in astonishment.  He thought I was a man in a dress!  I guess I should have been humiliated?  However, I found it hilarious and went immediately and told my husband and friends.

Those are just a few anecdotes in my experience post weight-loss.  It truly has done wonders for my self-esteem, but the novelty is wearing off, and at times, it's actually annoying.  I hope that doesn't make me seem ungrateful.  It's only that I wish to be noticed for many other attributes that rank higher on my list than appearance and truthfully, having experienced the opposite effect, deep down it makes me feel hypocritical.  I'd much rather be known for my kindness, dependability, generosity, intelligence and humor.  Someday my looks will change, and I will stop being noticed for my appearance.  That's okay with me.