[This is the second part of a series on weight-loss]
When last I left you I had reconnected with my childhood sweetheart and after spending a fun-filled week in Vegas with him, we decided to try to make a relationship happen. And happen it did! I was still living in DC and he was living in sunny northern California. He is a government wank with a pension to beat most and wasn't about to relocate under any circumstances. I worked for a global company, who's headquarters just happened to sit in the Bay area with satellite offices in the same town as my sweetheart(by the way, he is now my husband and that is another sordid tale I will tell in its entirety in another post or two). So after our week in Vegas, we returned to our respective corners of the continent and tried to figure it all out. Then I got a promotion, almost randomly, that required that I move to California.
In the mean time, I began to struggle up and down with the weight again. The job change and the move across country brought new stressors to my life. The changes were positive, but they were still changes. My eating was good then bad then good again and continued in this vicious cycle. Exercise was spotty at best. Six months later I had regained the 30 lbs. Luckily, my size did not change how my future hubby felt about me. After the move, I continued to struggle with eating and exercising. Sometimes, I would be completely diligent and committed. Other times I ate and sat on my butt with wild abandon. Stress was still high; the new job began to crush me with tasks about a year after I accepted it. The company was struggling financially (most were at the time) and even though I wasn't at risk for a layoff, I was required to pick up additional duties as the company "downsized".
I began to struggle not only with my weight but my mental health as well. I began taking Paxil and Ambien to deal with the stress--two drugs that have potential weight gain as side effects. It seems that medical professionals might think twice about that when they hand them over to obese patients, but you and I know otherwise. I also began to take blood pressure medication and it should be noted that I had been using an inhaler for exercise-induced asthma for several years.
My mother bought me a lifetime gym membership for Christmas, and I was thrilled to have it! I began earnestly exercising and following the diet plan laid out by a professional trainer. I began to lose weight very slowly. The job stress escalated to the point that I knew my health was in jeopardy because of it. So I quit the job. I whole-heartedly believed in my ability to get another job right away, so I did not line up a second job beforehand. It took nine months.
In the mean time, depression and stress from not having a job replaced the job stress. But, while I was twiddling my thumbs in between job applications and interviews, I began to research weight-loss options in earnest. Back in the nineties, I barely missed being part of the Phen-fen tragedies--thankfully. Soon after that, I heard about new procedures for weight-loss surgery. I remembered back in the seventies, stomach stapling was popular for a while but then it seemed to die out. I started reading articles and watching news stories and documentaries on the new bariatric procedures.
I wondered if I would have the courage to actually have that type of surgery. At the time, I wasn't ready to throw in the towel on conventional weight-loss, but I kept the idea in my head and learned as much as I could. Being a biologist and having worked in the medical field, I knew where to find unbiased information and studies. I actively learned as much as I could about bariatric surgery until I started the new job. I was not quite ready, however, to actually have the surgery.
to be continued...
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I've Lost, but Look What I've Gained! Part I
[This is part one of a multiple installment series]
My weight issues have been almost lifelong. From a pre-pubescent naturally thin to a post-pubescent ongoing battle with weight gain. I was an average size baby - 8 lbs (3.6 kg). From ages 2-12, my mother had great difficulty finding clothes that fit my body both in length and width because I had long legs and a very thin (but still healthy) frame. Then puberty took over and that was the end of my skinniness for a while. My mother(who was overweight as a teen) panicked. She began "helping" me "diet". This was the good old 70s when fad dieting was really popular. I tried the "seven foods in seven days" diet, the Atkins diet, a powdered drink/soup mix diet. No matter what I tried, I'd lose the extra 10-20 lbs, then regain it almost immediately. This went on throughout my teen years. Eventually, I became more desperate. I tried the cabbage soup diet, and eventually, I began fasting.
The fasting did not lead to anorexia, but it did lead to bulimia. I would binge, then fast (purging never worked for me, but starving did). What was really bewildering about my weight struggle was that I wasn't sedentary. During my early teens, I was involved in sports. The weight changes took a toll on my knee joints so I gave up sports, but then I joined marching band and danced in school musicals. We lived out in the country on a farm and I walked or rode my bicycle and helped with farm work--taking care of animals, bailing hay, stacking wood, etc. Still, I was very fond of just lying on my bed reading or listening to music, and I spent way too much time in front of the television. All of these things took a toll on my metabolism. I can only guess that my moderate level of activity kept me from being morbidly obese.
Following high school, I delayed college for a year and worked as a waitress. I was bored with school and wanted a break. At first, the free food that comes with working for a restaurant was a problem. Being on my feet for my whole shift and staying busy helped a little. I started noticing when people would order large amounts of food and then consumed all of it. Observing this behavior started to change my attitude about food and my own eating habits. I decided to eat healthier and smaller portions. Finally, I was eating an appropriate amount of food that balanced with my activity level. I began taking an aerobics class and soon I lost all of the extra weight and managed to keep it off. I wasn't thin, I was just no longer overweight.
I went to college then I quit college, got pregnant and got married. I gained 40 lbs with my pregnancy but took it all off. I gained 28 lbs with my second pregnancy but took it all off. I gained 55 lbs with my third pregnancy, on top of the 10 lbs I gained trying to get pregnant. I did not take it all off and thus, my struggle with weight began anew. I tried low fat diets, a physician managed calorie counting diet, and a physician managed liquid diet. I started college again. I got pregnant again. This time, I gained 35 lbs and did not take it all off, so I added more post baby pounds to the ones I was already carrying. I divorced my husband. Then my dad (who was my biggest cheerleader) was killed by a drunk driver. All of this happened while I was trying to go to college full-time, work part-time, and take care of three young children (if you done the math, I had four pregnancies, but my second child did not survive; that story can be found here). As a typical mom with too much on her plate (no pun intended) something had to give and as is typical of most mothers, my own physical well-being took a backseat to everything else.
I then got engaged, had another baby and got unengaged. I only gained 18 lbs with the last baby, but by this point I was obese and 60 lbs overweight. In 1998, I moved with my children to the Washington DC area to get the best possible job I could find. Luckily, I began working for a company that had a cafeteria that served healthy food and had a gym on site. I began eating healthy and exercising. I decided I wanted to run a 5K race and began training for that goal. I ate healthy and exercised every day. The weight came off very slowly. But if I slipped up at all--with eating or exercising--I started to regain immediately. This was especially frustrating because I was eating healthy, exercising and drinking lots of water. It was as if I had no physical ability to just maintain my weight. I had to be extremely diligent which was really difficult. I met my goal and ran two 5K races. I was still 30 lbs overweight, but I felt good and continued to be motivated. Then my company reorganized some of its departments, including mine. My job changed significantly. My good eating habits and exercise fell by the wayside. Over the next few years, I received two promotions. My professional life became consuming and between my job and being a single mother of four, once again my body was my last priority. Actually, it was not even a priority. My weight soared.
In 2001, I reconnected with my childhood sweetheart. We had not had contact for over 20 years and we decided to meet in Las Vegas to spend a few days together. I immediately began the Atkins diet (again) and joined a gym. I DID NOT want him to see me all big and fat. I managed to lose 30 lbs between August and Thanksgiving. When we met, I was still 30 lbs overweight, but I felt much better about seeing him. What happened next was almost unthinkable. We realized that we still loved each other! But...he lived in California and I lived in DC. What to do? Then something amazing happened! I got a promotion at work that required me to relocate to California.
to be continued...
My weight issues have been almost lifelong. From a pre-pubescent naturally thin to a post-pubescent ongoing battle with weight gain. I was an average size baby - 8 lbs (3.6 kg). From ages 2-12, my mother had great difficulty finding clothes that fit my body both in length and width because I had long legs and a very thin (but still healthy) frame. Then puberty took over and that was the end of my skinniness for a while. My mother(who was overweight as a teen) panicked. She began "helping" me "diet". This was the good old 70s when fad dieting was really popular. I tried the "seven foods in seven days" diet, the Atkins diet, a powdered drink/soup mix diet. No matter what I tried, I'd lose the extra 10-20 lbs, then regain it almost immediately. This went on throughout my teen years. Eventually, I became more desperate. I tried the cabbage soup diet, and eventually, I began fasting.
The fasting did not lead to anorexia, but it did lead to bulimia. I would binge, then fast (purging never worked for me, but starving did). What was really bewildering about my weight struggle was that I wasn't sedentary. During my early teens, I was involved in sports. The weight changes took a toll on my knee joints so I gave up sports, but then I joined marching band and danced in school musicals. We lived out in the country on a farm and I walked or rode my bicycle and helped with farm work--taking care of animals, bailing hay, stacking wood, etc. Still, I was very fond of just lying on my bed reading or listening to music, and I spent way too much time in front of the television. All of these things took a toll on my metabolism. I can only guess that my moderate level of activity kept me from being morbidly obese.
Following high school, I delayed college for a year and worked as a waitress. I was bored with school and wanted a break. At first, the free food that comes with working for a restaurant was a problem. Being on my feet for my whole shift and staying busy helped a little. I started noticing when people would order large amounts of food and then consumed all of it. Observing this behavior started to change my attitude about food and my own eating habits. I decided to eat healthier and smaller portions. Finally, I was eating an appropriate amount of food that balanced with my activity level. I began taking an aerobics class and soon I lost all of the extra weight and managed to keep it off. I wasn't thin, I was just no longer overweight.
I went to college then I quit college, got pregnant and got married. I gained 40 lbs with my pregnancy but took it all off. I gained 28 lbs with my second pregnancy but took it all off. I gained 55 lbs with my third pregnancy, on top of the 10 lbs I gained trying to get pregnant. I did not take it all off and thus, my struggle with weight began anew. I tried low fat diets, a physician managed calorie counting diet, and a physician managed liquid diet. I started college again. I got pregnant again. This time, I gained 35 lbs and did not take it all off, so I added more post baby pounds to the ones I was already carrying. I divorced my husband. Then my dad (who was my biggest cheerleader) was killed by a drunk driver. All of this happened while I was trying to go to college full-time, work part-time, and take care of three young children (if you done the math, I had four pregnancies, but my second child did not survive; that story can be found here). As a typical mom with too much on her plate (no pun intended) something had to give and as is typical of most mothers, my own physical well-being took a backseat to everything else.
I then got engaged, had another baby and got unengaged. I only gained 18 lbs with the last baby, but by this point I was obese and 60 lbs overweight. In 1998, I moved with my children to the Washington DC area to get the best possible job I could find. Luckily, I began working for a company that had a cafeteria that served healthy food and had a gym on site. I began eating healthy and exercising. I decided I wanted to run a 5K race and began training for that goal. I ate healthy and exercised every day. The weight came off very slowly. But if I slipped up at all--with eating or exercising--I started to regain immediately. This was especially frustrating because I was eating healthy, exercising and drinking lots of water. It was as if I had no physical ability to just maintain my weight. I had to be extremely diligent which was really difficult. I met my goal and ran two 5K races. I was still 30 lbs overweight, but I felt good and continued to be motivated. Then my company reorganized some of its departments, including mine. My job changed significantly. My good eating habits and exercise fell by the wayside. Over the next few years, I received two promotions. My professional life became consuming and between my job and being a single mother of four, once again my body was my last priority. Actually, it was not even a priority. My weight soared.
In 2001, I reconnected with my childhood sweetheart. We had not had contact for over 20 years and we decided to meet in Las Vegas to spend a few days together. I immediately began the Atkins diet (again) and joined a gym. I DID NOT want him to see me all big and fat. I managed to lose 30 lbs between August and Thanksgiving. When we met, I was still 30 lbs overweight, but I felt much better about seeing him. What happened next was almost unthinkable. We realized that we still loved each other! But...he lived in California and I lived in DC. What to do? Then something amazing happened! I got a promotion at work that required me to relocate to California.
to be continued...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Random Tuesday Thoughts - It's beginning to look a lot like random
Be sure and visit Keely, she has the gift that keeps on giving.
So...where the hell have I been?
Last week, my daughter had her senior pictures taken and took her saxophone along for some shots. Her
On Thanksgiving Eve (yes, it's okay to call it that) our family all got new cell phones and new cell phone service! Yay! We are now a Verizon Wireless family. I do have to say that if you live anywhere near Sacramento, the Natomas Verizon Store has the ultimate in customer service. Our CSR, Freddie P, was a pure delight and a consummate professional. After four years with the previous company, we now actually have service inside our house. It got pretty cold standing on the back patio in my underwear in the dead of winter just so I could have enough signal to actually call someone and have a conversation (nah, I would never do that would I? I'd at least put on socks).
I have the new Blackberry Curve 8530 in smoky violet (doesn't that sound sexy?) and Hubby has it in black. The girls all have the LG enV Touch. I am not being compensated for mentioning any of this; we are just really happy with the service and products. Customer service ain't what it used ta be, and so I feel compelled to affirm it when it is good.
Thanksgiving Eve night, we went to see the Sacramento Kings play at Arco Arena. They've had a good season so far and we always enjoy the games.
Me and Hubby at the Kings game - Go Kings!
On Thanksgiving morning, for the second year in a row, my youngest daughter CL, her bff, and I ran the Sacramento Run To Feed The Hungry 5K. My goal this year was to improve my time from last year, which was so lame that I should have been able to crawl and beat it. If you want to read about my experience last year, it can be found here. The unofficial race results are posted online here. I was in the female 40-44 age bracket. Here are my stats:
Place | Name | City | Bib No | Age | Overall | Chip Time | Gun Time | Diff | Pace |
94 | NeCole Scott | Antelope CA | 7810 | 44 | 2491 | 36:20.9 | 36:29.3 | 0:08.4 | 11:43/M |
The day of the race, I was listed 92nd and the only thing I can figure out is that two ladies who didn't want to give their ages initially, decided to go to the officials and give their ages so that they could be included in the appropriate group. SEE, sometimes it's okay to give your real age or you might miss out on something good.
This year, we arrived early enough to enjoy some of the pre-race festivities. We met up with a reinllamadeer.
Me and the reinllamadeer
I had my picture taken with the KCRA morning anchor team Deirdre Fitzpatrick and Chris Riva.
Deirdre, me and Chris - Chris let me hold his microphone!
And of course, here I am with my two faithful race buddies (who promptly ditched me after this picture was taken.).
CL's BFF, me, CL - they only look sweet and innocent, ha!
The race sponsors again provided free drinks and snacks after the race. I love the combination of getting my charitableness on, running (exercise) and hanging out with my kid. I hope to make this a long-term tradition. After the race, we went home and cooked a small simple Thanksgiving dinner and watched football. My husband didn't cook this year, but he did do the dishes (which was even better).
The rest of the week and weekend was low key, I am not a Black Friday adventurer. We did put up the Christmas tree - it's nine freakin feet tall!
So I'll try to be better committed with posting, BTW, thanks to all of you who are reading and commenting. It's been very encouraging for me and I really appreciate your support and kind words. That's all of my random for now. Catch you on the flip-flop.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Great Interview Experiment Hosted by Citizen of the Month - My Interview
As most of you know by now, I signed up to participate in Neil Kramer's Great Interview Experiment (GIE) over at Citizen of the Month. Danny Miller of Jew Eat Yet was my victim and then I had the tables turned on me by WordNerd of words...thoughts...nonsense. I hope you found Danny's answers to my goofball thought-provoking questions entertaining and insightful. Here is WordNerd's interview of me.
WordNerd: One of the first things I noticed in reading your blog is that you seem to have really mastered the art of Everyday Bliss. Your title seems like a pretty apt description of what your life is really like. What does your IDEAL day look like?
Me: My ideal day is a day relaxing day at home and I have it most Sundays. I am a true homebody. Our family is like most other families, and we are constantly on the go. I try to complete chores, cleaning, errands and other tasks Monday-Friday. Saturdays are often spent away from home. On Sundays, if I'm able, I wake up early and have coffee on my patio if it's warm outside. Then I usually read, do needlework or putter around the garden. If it's cold, I drink my coffee inside, sometimes in front of a fire in the fireplace and read or do needlework. When my family wakes, we do relaxing things--watch movies or sports, play games, cook together, make crafts. I try hard not to leave the house and to have our family together. I believe it gives us all a chance to relax and become energized for the week ahead. It's not always possible, but most Sundays are like that for me. So when I have a peaceful Sunday like I've just described, that is my ideal day. The only way it could be better is if my other children and grandchild lived nearby and could join us.
Wordnerd: Tell us what it was like to lose close to 150lbs? (how long did it take, what motivated you, how different do you feel, etc)
Me: The weight-loss was a significant turning point in my life. From my surgery until my final end point, it took just over a year. I had been struggling with my weight for a long time and there was a genetic component to my obesity. What motivated me to choose the surgery was that after struggling for so many years, my health was really beginning to suffer. I took several medications and had chronic health problems. Now, I don't take any medication and my former health problems are completely gone. I do take vitamins and supplements. Now, I feel great and very healthy and am much more active. I'm currently training for a 5K charity race on Thanksgiving. It's also been surprising to realize how much discrimination I experienced when I was overweight. I was aware of it before I lost the weight, but after losing weight, I've noticed a significant difference in how people respond to me. I'm currently working on a blog post with more details about my weight loss, and I hope to get it up soon. It will probably be a short series of posts, because I want to share a lot of information about my experience.
WordNerd: You are an amateur organic gardener. There seems to be alot of buzz about organic food in the media yet there is also alot of skepticism because of price, etc.. Why do you think people should make an effort to eat organic food? And, what should people start with?
Me: I am a biologist and have been environmentally conscientious since my childhood. I also grew up with grandmothers who were avid gardeners and I learned a lot from them. Having access to fresh foods from their farms and gardens meant that I learned to appreciate quality food early in life. As an adult, I learned that food grown in my own garden could be harvested at the peak of ripeness. There is a noticeable taste difference between fruit and vegetables that are harvested when they are ripe verses those that are harvested before they are ripe. As I began to practice gardening, I read a lot of gardening literature and determined that I personally felt it was safer to not use chemical pesticides and insecticides. Unfortunately, because "organic" has become trendy and controversial, it's often difficult to determine if you truly are buying an organic product from a retailer.
As for organic food being more expensive, that is another reason why I grow my own produce. I'm a frugal person and by planting my own garden, I saved my family approximately $800.00 this spring and summer and that's after expenses. I also buy produce that is in season locally. I found that if I buy organic produce at a farmer's market or CSA (community supported agriculture), the cost is almost identical to what I would pay for nonorganic produce at my local grocery store. But, even when it is more expensive, I think it's always best to buy the best quality food that I can afford. I think I owe it to myself and my family for optimal health.
My suggestion to begin eating organic is to grow something of your own. Tomatoes are easy and can be grown in a container if you don't have a yard. Herbs are also easy and can be grown in small containers indoors. If you absolutely can't grow anything yourself, farmer's markets and community supported agriculture (CSA) are the most economic places to buy organic products--based on my personal experience.
WordNerd: A lot of different countries are mentioned on your blog, what was your most memorable trip and why?
Me: I haven't traveled as much as I would like, but of the places I've been, my trip to France in 1982 was the most memorable. It was my first time to travel abroad. It was Easter and I saw some amazing things. At that time, I had studied French for three years and was thrilled to actually have a chance to communicate with french-speaking people. I love history and visiting historical places. Getting to see the chateaus of the Loire Valley was exciting. Paris was everything I imagined and more. I attended Easter Mass at Notre Dame and the Bishop of Paris gave the mass. The Louvre and Versailles were incredible and breath-taking. Angers and St. Malo were wonderful places. Mont St. Michel was fascinating. I should probably write a blog post in detail about that trip.
WordNerd: What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed and the last thing you do before you get into bed?
Me: This is something that is a little embarrassing for me, but I want to be honest. The first thing I do when I get up and the last thing I do before I get into bed is the same thing. I check my cell phone for messages. My husband is a night owl and comes to bed long after I do, so I kiss him goodnight before I go to bed and then I check my cell phone. I'm sure many people do this, but somehow it feels like my priorities are askew.
So now you knowway more than you ever wanted a little more about what makes me tick. Many thanks to WordNerd for interviewing me.
WordNerd: One of the first things I noticed in reading your blog is that you seem to have really mastered the art of Everyday Bliss. Your title seems like a pretty apt description of what your life is really like. What does your IDEAL day look like?
Me: My ideal day is a day relaxing day at home and I have it most Sundays. I am a true homebody. Our family is like most other families, and we are constantly on the go. I try to complete chores, cleaning, errands and other tasks Monday-Friday. Saturdays are often spent away from home. On Sundays, if I'm able, I wake up early and have coffee on my patio if it's warm outside. Then I usually read, do needlework or putter around the garden. If it's cold, I drink my coffee inside, sometimes in front of a fire in the fireplace and read or do needlework. When my family wakes, we do relaxing things--watch movies or sports, play games, cook together, make crafts. I try hard not to leave the house and to have our family together. I believe it gives us all a chance to relax and become energized for the week ahead. It's not always possible, but most Sundays are like that for me. So when I have a peaceful Sunday like I've just described, that is my ideal day. The only way it could be better is if my other children and grandchild lived nearby and could join us.
Wordnerd: Tell us what it was like to lose close to 150lbs? (how long did it take, what motivated you, how different do you feel, etc)
Me: The weight-loss was a significant turning point in my life. From my surgery until my final end point, it took just over a year. I had been struggling with my weight for a long time and there was a genetic component to my obesity. What motivated me to choose the surgery was that after struggling for so many years, my health was really beginning to suffer. I took several medications and had chronic health problems. Now, I don't take any medication and my former health problems are completely gone. I do take vitamins and supplements. Now, I feel great and very healthy and am much more active. I'm currently training for a 5K charity race on Thanksgiving. It's also been surprising to realize how much discrimination I experienced when I was overweight. I was aware of it before I lost the weight, but after losing weight, I've noticed a significant difference in how people respond to me. I'm currently working on a blog post with more details about my weight loss, and I hope to get it up soon. It will probably be a short series of posts, because I want to share a lot of information about my experience.
WordNerd: You are an amateur organic gardener. There seems to be alot of buzz about organic food in the media yet there is also alot of skepticism because of price, etc.. Why do you think people should make an effort to eat organic food? And, what should people start with?
Me: I am a biologist and have been environmentally conscientious since my childhood. I also grew up with grandmothers who were avid gardeners and I learned a lot from them. Having access to fresh foods from their farms and gardens meant that I learned to appreciate quality food early in life. As an adult, I learned that food grown in my own garden could be harvested at the peak of ripeness. There is a noticeable taste difference between fruit and vegetables that are harvested when they are ripe verses those that are harvested before they are ripe. As I began to practice gardening, I read a lot of gardening literature and determined that I personally felt it was safer to not use chemical pesticides and insecticides. Unfortunately, because "organic" has become trendy and controversial, it's often difficult to determine if you truly are buying an organic product from a retailer.
As for organic food being more expensive, that is another reason why I grow my own produce. I'm a frugal person and by planting my own garden, I saved my family approximately $800.00 this spring and summer and that's after expenses. I also buy produce that is in season locally. I found that if I buy organic produce at a farmer's market or CSA (community supported agriculture), the cost is almost identical to what I would pay for nonorganic produce at my local grocery store. But, even when it is more expensive, I think it's always best to buy the best quality food that I can afford. I think I owe it to myself and my family for optimal health.
My suggestion to begin eating organic is to grow something of your own. Tomatoes are easy and can be grown in a container if you don't have a yard. Herbs are also easy and can be grown in small containers indoors. If you absolutely can't grow anything yourself, farmer's markets and community supported agriculture (CSA) are the most economic places to buy organic products--based on my personal experience.
WordNerd: A lot of different countries are mentioned on your blog, what was your most memorable trip and why?
Me: I haven't traveled as much as I would like, but of the places I've been, my trip to France in 1982 was the most memorable. It was my first time to travel abroad. It was Easter and I saw some amazing things. At that time, I had studied French for three years and was thrilled to actually have a chance to communicate with french-speaking people. I love history and visiting historical places. Getting to see the chateaus of the Loire Valley was exciting. Paris was everything I imagined and more. I attended Easter Mass at Notre Dame and the Bishop of Paris gave the mass. The Louvre and Versailles were incredible and breath-taking. Angers and St. Malo were wonderful places. Mont St. Michel was fascinating. I should probably write a blog post in detail about that trip.
WordNerd: What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed and the last thing you do before you get into bed?
Me: This is something that is a little embarrassing for me, but I want to be honest. The first thing I do when I get up and the last thing I do before I get into bed is the same thing. I check my cell phone for messages. My husband is a night owl and comes to bed long after I do, so I kiss him goodnight before I go to bed and then I check my cell phone. I'm sure many people do this, but somehow it feels like my priorities are askew.
So now you know
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Great Interview Experiment Hosted by Citizen of the Month
As I mentioned last week, I am participating in the Great Interview Experiment hosted by Neil Kramer over at Citizen of the Month. The Karma gods surely blessed me as I ended up in a sandwich between two amazing bloggers, Danny Miller of Jew Eat Yet and WordNerd of words...thoughts...nonsense. The premise was that among commentors to Neil's blog, each of us would interview the person who commented before us and be interviewed by the person who commented after us. It was a challenge to develop thought-provoking and entertaining questions. It was intriguing to be almost simultaneous interviewer/interviewee. I am so grateful to Neil for providing this opportunity. Both Danny and WordNerd are incredible writers and I'm elated to be reading their blogs and honored to be part of the blog community with them. Here are my questions and Danny's answers. I will post a link to WordNerd's interview of me as soon as it is available.
1. You have lots of references and posts about “vintage” television and movie stars. Do you feel that the stars of the 40s and 50s had more substance as actors and performers or is it just childhood and early adulthood nostalgia that keeps you drawn to them?
That’s a hard question. While nostalgia obviously plays a role, I think my appreciation of classic movies and the great movie stars of the past is more about preference and quality. Despite the many pitfalls of the old studio system, they sure cranked out a lot of superior product. But in every decade there is always a lot of quality and a lot of trash. My reverence for the Katharine Hepburns and Cary Grants of this world will never change but that doesn’t mean I don’t admire today’s talent also. Currently, actors like Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet will propel me to the theatre no matter what they’re in. Regarding TV, there are some fantastic shows on today but in general I fear we are at a low point and that some of the shows on the air today are so horrific they would make Faye Dunaway’s Diana Christensen from “Network” blush.
2. You and I are close in age and like you, I watched a lot of television when I was young. I remember the so-called “experts” lamenting that watching too much television was ruining our generation. Now, we say that about the video game generation. How would you compare the two? Are they better or worse or the same as us?
I don’t think TV ruined us Baby Boomers as much as was feared. As I was saying on a recent blog post, although I watched a ton of TV growing up, I also spent countless hours playing outside with my friends (seriously, were there more hours in the day back then?). We didn’t have the same problems with childhood obesity in the 60s and 70s because we were still pretty active. Yes, we were watching TV but there were no computers sucking up the rest of our time. I am not a fan of video games at all, mostly because of the content that I see which tends to be hideously violent. Happily, my 14-year-old daughter was never interested and we have no intention of bringing any game box into our house as our baby son gets older.
3. You are a seasoned blogger and I’m a newbie. My method of learning to be a better blogger has been to read a variety of blogs and apply the good techniques of others while still maintaining my voice, style and uniqueness. That being said, as a seasoned blogger what advice do you have for me and others who are new to blogging?
I am thrilled that people like you are starting blogs. I love that form and while the blogosphere was exploding when I started five years ago, so many excellent bloggers I know have stopped their blogs recently and people seem to be more interested in short-form expressions like Twitter (which I still can’t bring myself to go near). I hope you’ll keep on blogging, the posts I’ve read of yours include everything that is good about blogging—honesty, pain, humor—and my only advice would be to keep writing about whatever YOU are interested in, without obsessing about your audience or “stats.”
4. My 14 year old daughter has naturally red hair that appears to be the same color as your daughter’s hair. Other kids refer to my daughter as a “ginger”. My daughter wants to know if your daughter is teased incessantly because of her hair color.
Isn’t that color the best? I was thrilled when my daughter was born with a full head of hair that was exactly the same color as my mother’s and grandmother’s. I love red hair and happily, I don’t think Leah has ever been teased because of the color. If she’s had any hair angst, it’s from her curls and she went through a period where she straightened it. But now she loves the color and the curls, even through her recent lice episode (ugh!). I’m surprised your daughter is teased over it. But then again, women with red hair used to be burned for being witches! Tell her that when those little biatches are older they’ll be spending lots of money to dye their hair your daughter’s color!
I showed my daughter your daughter's picture on your blog, in hopes that she would identify with another beautiful young red-head. Instead, she begged me to ask you that question. I agree with you, I love the color.
5. I’ve always tried to instill tolerance and acceptance in my children. I was blessed to have a good friend in college who was Jewish and I invited her to my home often and especially every year at Chanukah so my children and I could learn about and appreciate Judaism (we were practicing Christians at the time). Even so, I know that there are still plenty of opportunities to learn and appreciate other cultures and religious faiths. What is the most notable thing that non-Jews still don’t understand and/or appreciate about Jewish traditions?
Hmm, that’s an interesting question. There are probably lots of misconceptions about Jewish tradition. Some people mistakenly believe that religious Jews are very serious and dour, but the truth is that Judaism is a very joyous religion. There are lots of rules, yes, many of which seem odd in our current times, but the pursuit of happiness is also written into Jewish law. And while sexism certainly abounds in the ultra-orthodox branches of Judaism, women are also revered and it is stated that a man must make sure his wife is happy and satisfied, if you know what I mean. It is definitely not a prudish religion. Even though orthodox women are prohibited to have sex during their period (and the week that follows), they are strongly encouraged to do so at other times, and not only to procreate! (Yikes, your question had nothing to do with sex…forgive me!)
No forgiveness needed; sex is always a welcome topic here.
6. Losing a child is one of the most emotionally difficult things to experience. Writing can be cathartic or heart-wrenching or a combination of both. What has been the most emotionally difficult blog post that you wrote?
I read your heart-wrenching, poignant post about losing your son and so appreciated your sharing that. I haven’t had the courage or perspective yet to write about my son Oliver’s death last April but the other day I finally wrote some specifics about the earlier part of that day when my wife went into labor at 24 weeks and delivered our twins. I agree that writing can be cathartic and I don’t know how I would have made it through the past seven months without my blog. Having a blog to pour some of my thoughts into is almost as good as therapy, I love it.
7. What or who motivated you to become a writer?
I always liked to write, and had notebooks full of poetry (oy, I never write poetry anymore!) when I was in elementary school. When I was young I loved Roald Dahl’s books and I wrote to him in England. His personal response to me made a huge impact and I was convinced that he named the character of his next book (“Danny, Champion of the World”) after me. I’d say he was a big inspiration. I also had some wonderful English teachers amidst the not-always-great educators in the Chicago public school system. As someone who had a very hard time expressing my emotions when I was young, writing was the best way to feel like I was being heard, to feel like I mattered.
8. What is the most significant thing you’ve learned from blogging that you wish you had known when you first began writing your blog?
I never dreamed that blogging would provide me with such a great community of people like it has. I especially felt that during our recent ordeal with our twin boys. My blog has been such an evolution for me, it has taken on different purposes as time goes by. I guess the only thing I wish I’d realized when I first started was what I told you in question #3 above, to not worry if anyone would be interested in what I was writing about but to just follow my own passions and let the chips fall where they may. That has worked very well for me but I spent a lot of time back in the day worrying about losing readers.
9. Is there anyone who you respect as a writer but yet you don’t enjoy their writings? For example, I admire and respect F. Scott Fitzgerald as a talented writer, but I don't enjoy his writing.
I would say that Saul Bellow falls into that category for me. I think I tried to read "Humboldt's Gift" about five times but never made it past the first 50 pages. "Herzog" too. But I haven't picked either book up in years, maybe I should try one last time now that I'm middle-aged!
10. Tell me one item from your "bucket list."
Gosh, maybe my one item should be to create a bucket list, I’ve really never thought about it! I get easily overwhelmed by such concepts but then I remind myself that it doesn’t have to be big saving-the-world stuff. My daughter recently told me that the three things she wants to do before she dies is go through a car wash where you get to sit in your car, wear a hoop skirt, and play a serial killer in a play. Okay, all doable! So on that level, I’ve always wanted to take a driving trip through Europe. I’ve been there lots but always traveled by plane or train, I would love to get off the beaten path and drive around for a while, stopping wherever I like. I’d probably start in France. I’d also love to learn to play the piano and to experience weightlessness.
Again, my thanks go to Danny for his wonderfully candid and enlightening answers to my questions. If you have the chance go read the other inteviews in the Great Interview Experiment. They can be found here.
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